Spotting Stars

A while back, I sat down with a friend and chatted about our lives. At some point in the conversation I said, "2013 was a bad year, but 2014 was even worse." I meant that. 2014 seems to not have delivered what it promised in back on the first day of January. 2014 feels like an emotional rollercoaster with many downhill's. Not many of the dreams...

Read More

Worship at a Mosque

I often act like a stereotypical hypocrite. I strongly dislike people who discriminate against other people. I however prefer people like myself. I don't like admitting it, but it's true. Years ago, I traveled alone to Nepal. I had a stop over in Dhaka, Bangladesh. I walked off the plane into the stifling hot airport hall....

Read More

Life is unfair!

I just got off the phone and said out loud: "Life is unfair!" My friends have been struggling for like ever with sickness, hospitalization... Last week they had some great news: a little baby boy. Today I found out he is Down Syndrome. Life is not unfair. Life is as it is. Not in a defeatist kind of way, but life right now is as it is....

Read More

Recovering...

I used to be a relatively successful youth pastor. I made all the right noises. I loved my job. I was a decent public speaker. I could organise a lush wide game. I had 'results'. Young people connected with the programs I ran. I was good at telling people what to do. Christianity defined who I was. My value - my ego was in Christianity, not...

Read More

Finding peace in me

For too long I have been spending a lot of my energy on trying to shape my thinking into what and who I want it to think. Cogito Ergo Sum: I think. therefore I am - by Rene Descartes I used to believe this 100%. We as humans are different from animals because we think all the time. My thinking defines and decides who I am. I have been...

Read More

The pursuit of my happiness

I have been feeling unhappy for some time. Too long... I used to believe that feelings are not that important. I always told others: It's not what you feel, but what you know. What a load of rubbish. Obviously we can't only live by what we feel, but in the same way we can't just live by what we know. Our feelings and what we know are integral...

Read More

I am the moaning kind.

My week started on a rather challenging note. Monday, I went to the dentist for a checkup. I knew there was something up with my last and only wisdom tooth, but I didn't really know the extent of the problem until the dentist said: "Do you have enough time so we can remove this wisdom tooth immediately?" So my wisdom got pulled in the chair....

Read More

South Africa's biggest suppression

I am not a South African, although I feel I belong here. I feel African in my veins. I am a pale African. I love this great country. Nelson Mandela felt like a spiritual father to me. He inspires me.  I am still an outsider. Belonging in this country is difficult. Most communities are pretty closed. They all have their own struggles so we...

Read More