As a teenager, I enjoyed films like Trainspotting and Requiem
For A Dream... In my mind they were pieces of art telling great stories.
I never realized the reality of it all. Like in real all around me where
I live.
Last night was by far the most shocking and dreadful night I
have experienced on the streets. At some point I walked away by myself so I
could shed a tear in frustration and pain. I quickly pulled myself together
before anyone noticed. Weakness gets you killed on the streets. The dark side
of the street showed its face. I met a group of Junkies.
This is Jazz's story...
Can I tell you some things about my life on the street? Well
I am a user. I have used Marijuana, Crack, Crystal Meth, Heroin, Mandrax..., I
have tried them all. Now I am on Meth and Heroin. I smoke the heroin. I have
only injected twice before. I hate needles.
I am so glad I am off the crack. It made me mad. It was
never enough and it nearly killed me.
I started using drugs many years ago. I was the black sheep
of the family. I did not fit in. I have a son. He is 8 years old. I am not
allowed to see him. He lives with my mother. It's better for him if I don't see
him. I miss him so much, but I can't let the drugs go. Not now - not yet.
I sleep most nights at my Ex-Boyfriend's place. From time to
time I live on the streets. It's difficult for girls. I need to make money
every day to get my daily fixes or I go mad. Most girls that get hooked end up
as prostitutes. I am very proud that I have never had sex for money. I have
thought about it, but I can't go that low. I am not judging people who do it. They
obviously have their own stories.
I have been clean a couple of times. When I get arrested, I
get clean as the judge will look favourably on you when you go through rehab.
I used to make money by robbing people of their cell phones.
My ex and I drove around in our car asking people if we could use their cell
phone as we were lost and needed to make a quick call. We stole 5 to 10 phones
per day for about 4 months, but one day we tried to steal a phone from a crazy
woman who grabbed our car window. We dragged her along the road. She lost
teeth, and was severely scraped. When I
noticed she was hanging from my window I peeled her fingers off till she let
go. It turned out that her dad was a police commissioner. Suddenly the search
for us picked up momentum. A week later we got arrested. We made the news
papers. People called us Bonnie and Clyde .
Today I make money by conning people. It can't hurt people,
but I need the money for my habit. I feel bad about lying, but I am very good
at what I do.
I spend R3000 a month on my habit. It's a lot of money. I
wish I could let go, but I tried. I couldn't cope.
Remember every drug user has a story before they started taking
drugs. Most of their stores are hectic stories of pain and abuse. I can't tell
you my story. I wish I could, but I can't.
I need to go home now.
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