I just got off the phone and said out loud: "Life is unfair!"
My friends have been struggling for like ever with sickness, hospitalization... Last week they had some great news: a little baby boy. Today I found out he is Down Syndrome.
Life is not unfair. Life is as it is. Not in a defeatist kind of way, but life right now is as it is. There is nothing I can change about it. It's not fair or unfair. It just is.
I have often called life out for it's unfairness. I feel I need a break. I just told one of my friends that I want a break for 6 months to regain some strength, focus and joy. That must be possible? A time where everything goes smoothly for some time?
In the past two years, I have gone through some of the darkest periods of my life. Sometimes I wish I could wake up on the morning of the 6th of September 2012 and not board that plane. Stay... Not follow the voice we believed we heard.
But we boarded our plane and started a new life far, making a new home.
While I sometimes wish this, I also don't want this at all. These last difficult years have taught me more about myself than the 32 years before.
I have come to accept that I don't know what's best for my life. I have come to a place where I trust in God's goodness - God/Being for those who imagine God as a man up there with a stick living on the clouds. he is bigger than our God concept.
I see that all the rubbish I have gone through - and yes some of it is self inflicted - gives me an opportunity to draw closer to God or to call life more and more unfair.
I know saying this is easier than living it and accepting the 'bad' stuff in life.
I have been thinking a lot about Job - for those who don't know. A guy in the bible who was doing really well till God allowed everything to be taken away. His money, status and kids. So he had a really bad time. Life was pretty 'unfair' to him.
He had to make a choice.
'Between stimuli and response lies a space and in that space we have the freedom to choose.' -Victor Frankle. My recommended reading of the week!!!
I can chose to focus on the unfairness of life. It will not make life fairer. I won't 'fix' the wrongs.
Every 'bad' situation is a chance to draw closer. It is a chance to get to know the real YOU better. The you that is in I am. So let's accept what is and live NOW with God.
