Why so serious?

I have become too serious! That was the realization of the week. I have forgotten to rejoice, have a laugh and to create some general shallow banter.

Life can easily become too serious. Don't get me wrong. Life is difficult, challenging and confusing at times. I am in the middle of some conundrums and paradoxes myself, but those should not rob me of my happiness, joy and smiles. I am taking myself way too seriously.

Are you taking yourself to seriously?

On Monday evening, I went to the streets to celebrate Asana's birthday.  Click here to read her story. The homeless people I meet have a rough deal. They live in suffering. Life is difficult for them. There are few reasons to celebrate anything. Truthfully, I have wondered a couple of times out loud how they find the will to live. 

Asana's birthday fell on the 26th. I had to do something for her. So on Monday evening myself and Lisa (a friend visiting from the UK) took along some celebration food and presents for Asana. She really wanted soap and some other beauty products.

As I sat on the streets, I heard my friends sing their own African style "Happy birthday". A call and answer version. It was beautiful. Asana was smiling. It made me realize that through all the challenges, life is a good gift worth celebrating.

When is the last time you had a laugh?

The pain, sadness, conundrums and paradoxes might still be there, but I am finding space for laughing, enjoyment and general joy in life. We have to.

Laughter is medicine to the soul! (Tweet This)

I used to live by the YOLO mantra. -You Only Live Once. I going back to that place.

Now smile...Please!!

Share and Connect:

You can share this story on twitter by clicking here. I would love you to connect more with me through Facebook or Twitter. 

Read More

9 Survival Rules of the streets

Some of my homeless friends gave me 'rules' for surviving the streets:

1. Never trust anyone. Your best friend will rob you when they need a fix. You can never let your guard down.

2. Don't sleep on the streets. People will rob you, if you are lucky. If you are unlucky you will be killed. Stay awake at night. Sleep during the day. If you really need to sleep during the night stay in a public place so people see you. Do not hide in a dark alley, if you get found by the wrong people you will be cold in the morning.

3. Carry a knife, but a bottle is even better. The police might arrest you with a knife and take it away. Carry a beer bottle and train yourself to hit it on the road like people do in the films so you can use it as a weapon. Nobody wants to get stabbed by glass. It cuts through human flesh like a knife through butter. Make sure you train to break the bottle. It is not as easy as it looks in the films.

4. Stay in groups. Being alone means an easier target for muggers.

5. When people on the street ask you the time don't get your phone out. Remember most homeless people have no appointments planned for the rest of their lives. They only want to check out your phone and see if it's worth robbing you for.

6. Blend in. Act like wherever you are you belong there. It doesn't matter if you don't, but don't show it. Don't look shifty. When people follow you move towards other people.

7. Make friends. The more people know you the more chance you have of staying alive. Everybody is a potential friend and everybody is a potential enemy.

8. Keep moving. Don't become a creature of habit. The people who follow you will work out where you sleep and what you do. So don't fall in easy routines.

9. Learn the above quickly. If you want to live you need to become street wise. Every day you survive is a graduation to celebrate, but don't. Never become complacent. Danger is just around the next corner.

These are the 'rules' from my homeless friends. These are their harsh realities of living on the streets. Nobody should live in emotional, physical and spiritual poverty like this! (Tweet This)

How do you live a life not trusting anyone? How do you always stay alert? How does one always watch their back? It must be emotionally and physically exhausting.

All of my homeless friends have been robbed, beaten and attacked numerous times. One of my friends said this: "The hardest thing about living on the streets is that you can never relax. You always have to be switched on. You can never go home."

Share and Connect:

You can share this story on twitter by clicking here. I would love you to connect more with me through Facebook or Twitter. 

Read More

Rays Of Hope

Most of my stories have been pretty negative. Real, but not very uplifting. I feel for the readers of this blog. After each read, you are likely to need a couple of days to recover. 

I don't want to push any of you over the edge! This is a search for hearts, hope and freedom... To find the happy and positive stories of the streets. I wish I could tell you hundreds of feel-good stories. Stories of happiness, joy, kittens and lavender fields.

Unfortunately these stories are rare, but I found one...

5 nights a week a local Charity, Love Story, organises a soup kitchen in front of the City Hall in PE.

In the past, I have volunteered in soup kitchens. It always made ME feel good. I was doing something for someone else... This time however, I wanted to find out how it was to be the homeless person.

Sunday evening, I dressed up in my 'street' outfit and joined the group of hungry people, sitting around listening to a guy sharing the word of God. I came late so I don't know what was said. All I know is that I felt really welcome. Even though I came late I still got food and the volunteers made me feel at ease.

Love Story is warm, friendly and genuine. Luke Watson; former Springbok, Southern Kings Captain and Controversial Media Figure, chatted to many of the homeless people. He and the Love Story Team knew most of the people by name. Everyone who was there for food was encouraged personally by the volunteers. Some of the locals are challenging to say the least. Drug users, Criminals, Prostitutes... They all got an equal treatment and many encouraging words.

The food was really good.  I have to be honest. I was worried about the food. I kind of expected it to be cheap watery soup made from leftovers and expired veggies, but it tasted really good. I hung around with my friend Bruce who was boasting about a robbery he had pulled off the previous night. I also chatted with the volunteers. I left the soup kitchen genuinely encouraged. 

Sometimes we focus so much on the darkness, We don't notice the rays of light on the horizon.(Tweet This) 

I found a ray of hope in the darkness.

I was mightily impressed with Love Story. What you are doing is making a difference. Well done to all the volunteers. You are the real heroes.

The homeless and I salute you and THANK YOU!!!              Respect  

For everyone involved in giving their time to the weak and poor, BE ENCOURAGED! Changes are often very slow. Sometimes it seems like nothing is changing at all. But know this; you are making a difference. The homeless people I spend time with, love the feeding initiatives and they respect the time and effort people put in.

Where are you investing your time and energy? 

What can you do to make a difference? 

Share and Connect:

You can share this story on twitter by clicking here. I would love you to connect more with me through Facebook or Twitter. 

Read More

Junkies

As a teenager, I enjoyed films like Trainspotting and Requiem For A Dream... In my mind they were pieces of art telling great stories. I never realized the reality of it all. Like in real all around me where I live.

Last night was by far the most shocking and dreadful night I have experienced on the streets. At some point I walked away by myself so I could shed a tear in frustration and pain. I quickly pulled myself together before anyone noticed. Weakness gets you killed on the streets. The dark side of the street showed its face. I met a group of Junkies.

This is Jazz's story...

Can I tell you some things about my life on the street? Well I am a user. I have used Marijuana, Crack, Crystal Meth, Heroin, Mandrax..., I have tried them all. Now I am on Meth and Heroin. I smoke the heroin. I have only injected twice before. I hate needles.

I am so glad I am off the crack. It made me mad. It was never enough and it nearly killed me.

I started using drugs many years ago. I was the black sheep of the family. I did not fit in. I have a son. He is 8 years old. I am not allowed to see him. He lives with my mother. It's better for him if I don't see him. I miss him so much, but I can't let the drugs go. Not now - not yet.

I sleep most nights at my Ex-Boyfriend's place. From time to time I live on the streets. It's difficult for girls. I need to make money every day to get my daily fixes or I go mad. Most girls that get hooked end up as prostitutes. I am very proud that I have never had sex for money. I have thought about it, but I can't go that low. I am not judging people who do it. They obviously have their own stories.

I have been clean a couple of times. When I get arrested, I get clean as the judge will look favourably on you when you go through rehab.

I used to make money by robbing people of their cell phones. My ex and I drove around in our car asking people if we could use their cell phone as we were lost and needed to make a quick call. We stole 5 to 10 phones per day for about 4 months, but one day we tried to steal a phone from a crazy woman who grabbed our car window. We dragged her along the road. She lost teeth, and was severely scraped.  When I noticed she was hanging from my window I peeled her fingers off till she let go. It turned out that her dad was a police commissioner. Suddenly the search for us picked up momentum. A week later we got arrested. We made the news papers. People called us Bonnie and Clyde.

Today I make money by conning people. It can't hurt people, but I need the money for my habit. I feel bad about lying, but I am very good at what I do.

I spend R3000 a month on my habit. It's a lot of money. I wish I could let go, but I tried. I couldn't cope.

Remember every drug user has a story before they started taking drugs. Most of their stores are hectic stories of pain and abuse. I can't tell you my story. I wish I could, but I can't.

I need to go home now. 

Share and Connect:

You can share this story on twitter by clicking here. I would love you to connect more with me through Facebook or Twitter. 

Read More

Purposefully Vague

Asante never opens up to me. He is a young man of around 18. He doesn't trust me and why should he? He is wary of me, and of other people. I ask him a question, he dodges the answer. He is purposefully vague. The other day I asked him where he was born. He replied: "South Africa". Well thank you...

Who do you share your struggles with?

The last time I hung out with him, I took some photos of the group and myself. I wanted to take a photo: Him and Me. To get that right you have to keep the camera at arms length and sit real close. So, Asante shifted closer to me, so close, to rest his head on my shoulder. It was what he needed. After I finished taking the photo's he kept his head on my shoulder. He stayed there. It seemed to give him peace.

                                           Asana, Asante and I

Sometimes, a shoulder to rest our head is all we need. (Tweet This)

Asante has his battles to fight. I don't know his story. He isn't willing to let me in... He is a very decent young man who seems deeply hurt. This is his bid to protect his heart.

For now I will lend him my shoulder.

Who do you know needs a shoulder to rest their head on?

Share and Connect:

You can share this story on twitter by clicking here. I would love you to connect more with me through Facebook or Twitter. 

Read More

Begging

I am begging - You walk by

When I smile - you think I am high

When I look sad - you think I have a hang over

When I cough - you think you should start running, from TB..or HIV

When I scratch my nose - you think I just snorted coke

When I look into your eyes - you think I am challenging you

When I look tired - you think I am lazy

You don't want to make eye contact - it makes me human

I can't get it right. You just keep on walking.

The next 'You' will walk past. I'll try harder

Who do you judge?

When we judge people, we deceive ourselves. (Tweet This)

I have always wondered if begging is the next get quick rich scheme (Tweet This) I should try. I joined some of my homeless friends for a couple of hours to beg outside a local grocery store.

There were about 5 of us. Homeless. Begging

The first lady gave us a plastic container of leftovers. She eyed the 5 of us in a row. She ended up looking at me saying: "Here, you look like the poorest and the one who needs it most". So there I was literally blending in with the homeless.

Accepting her gift was difficult. I told the kind lady that the guys next to me needed it more. My pride was running a rebellion against receiving a free gift. I found it so hard to be given something.

What hurts your pride?

My homeless friends all laughed as they know I am not homeless. They thought this was the funniest thing ever. We laughed together...

Between all of us we made R15, a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread in 3 hours. We had to share this between 5 people. I did not keep my share.

I did not enjoy begging. It is not something plan to do often. I guess nobody plans on living that way.

Here are my conclusions: You don't have to give beggars something, but acknowledge them. Show them that you see them as a fellow human. Actually you should give them something: a smile, a greeting, an acknowledgement of humanity and maybe you will join in healing some hurts and brokenness in this broken world.  

Share and Connect:

You can share this story on twitter by clicking here. I would love you to connect more with me through Facebook or Twitter. 

Read More

2014 Resolutions

Every year I plan to write down some of my hopes and dreams for the New Year. I never do it as 'busyness' takes over. I know these ones are rather late, but better late than never. 

Nonetheless 14 Hopes for 2014:

1) SQUASH NEGATIVITY. I am inclined to be critical. It is not a good thing. St. Benedict said that speaking negatively about people (even with well-warranted reasons) is “poison”, and it rots away the foundation of community. In its place I hope to practice honest confrontation when hurt or offended and encourage others to do the same. 

2) USE TECHNOLOGY WISELY. Like a hammer or any tool, phones and computers can be used constructively or destructively. I want to treat my technology like I do my other tools – use them when I need them. And I don’t need my tools telling me when to work. Facebook friends can be like microwave meals – they take little energy to make, but they can also leave you malnourished. (Tweet This)

3) READ MORE FICTION – during the last couple of years I have mainly read serious books written by serious men. 2014 is a year to read some more stories and less theories.

4) QUENCH FEAR. So many times I catch myself doing or not doing certain things in life because I am scared. Fear still rules to many decisions. I want to fight for change that needs to be made to find freedom for myself and for others.

5) LIVE A LIFE THAT IS SIMPLE… AND STILL BEAUTIFUL. Simple living does not mean ugly living. I want to be free like the lilies and sparrows – free of consumerism and clutter and noise– and be surrounded with wonder and beauty. And I want to make cool things out of trash. 

6) BE NICE TO SOMEONE WHO IT IS VERY HARD TO BE NICE TO. Being nice is just as important as being right. I hope to disagree well with those who disagree with me. I hope to go out of my way to wear down mean people with love. 

7)SPEND MORE MONEY ON OTHERS THAN ON MYSELF. It’s been said that “budgets are moral documents”.


8) BE A MINORITY more often. I hope to put myself in situations where I am surrounded by people who are not all like me (age, gender, ethnicity, economics, religion, politics…), and where who I am may be the exception rather than the norm. 

9) KEEP THE SABBATH HOLY. Old idea – originally God’s idea for everyone. Surely I want to integrate work and rest and holy leisure every day, but one day a week I hope to rest in a special way – and do things that refresh my soul. 

10) LEARN A NEW SKILL. Over the years I’ve stopped learning new things. This year I want to change that. So the goal is to learn kickboxing, sewing and Xhosa. Kickboxing is something i have wanted to do for long time, but never got around to it, because part of me thought it was evil. Sewing is something I never wanted to learn, but seems like a useful skill. Xhosa is the majority language spoken in the area of the country where I live. For too long have I felt that people should meet me in my English language. Time to step out.

11) LAUGH OFTEN. I have a friend who says, “If we can’t laugh then the devil has already won.” People can be so serious… and need to loosen up a little. Joy comes from the confidence that the world doesn’t have to stay the way it is. It also helps win over those who oppose you – it’s hard to hate folks who make you smile.

12) JOIN THE HEALTHY FOOD REVOLUTION. I’m a sucker for unhealthy food. Keeping in mind that I am Belgian and chocolate flows through my veins this is a biggy. In 2014, I want to jump-off the grease and sugar food train, and do something crazy – learn to eat healthy food again. I know, so trendy… but some trends are good. Hope to grow as much food as possible, and share as many good home-cooked meals as possible with as many hungry people as possible. 

13) MAKE A NEW FRIEND… who is different from me. We’re all most comfortable around people like us (whoever “we” are), and most uncomfortable around people not like us. Inspired by some Muslims who have started a movement to move “from fear to friendship”, I hope to make some new friends who don’t all share my beliefs or background. And I like my old friends and hope to keep them too. 

14) DREAM. Keep dreaming of a better world for all. Help other people to dream and to follow their dreams. Somebody once said: when we stop dreaming we stop living. (Tweet This) It might not be so dramatic, but when we stop dreaming something in us surely dies.

With special thanks to Shaine Claiborne for inspiring me!

Share and Connect:

You can share this story on twitter by clicking here. I would love you to connect more with me through Facebook or Twitter. 

Read More