I often act like a stereotypical hypocrite.
I strongly dislike people who discriminate against other
people. I however prefer people like myself. I don't like admitting it, but it's true.
Years ago, I traveled alone to Nepal . I had a stop over in Dhaka , Bangladesh
So I would have to sit too close to a stranger. So where did
I go and sit? I went to sit to the person who looked most like me. I sat next
to a 'white' - (flesh colour as my boy calls it) - person, rather than next to
a 'Muslim' looking person.
I guess this sums myself up to some degree. I want to be an
innovator, a leader of change, the guy who steps out in the darkness, but it
scares me.
In trying to step out of my comfort zone and in realizing
God is bigger than what I have made Him to be, I decided some time ago to visit
one of the groups of people who I have stigmatized most.
My favourite joke: "When you see a Muslim getting on
the bus with you make sure you sneak close enough to hear if he is ticking."
A horrible joke. A terrible generalization of a minority.
Childish and very derogatory.
So after making weeks of excuses about why I should not go
to the Mosque, I finally put on my big boy shoes and found enough courage to
drive there.
As I arrived, I realized straight away that I had made a
mistake. I mean you should have been there with me. In the car park were a
couple of men chatting with each other. Scary - I know. They were wearing
different clothes than I wear. Their skin was slightly darker.
This sounds ridiculous and it is ridiculous, but I was so
uneasy.
I sat in my car for about 5 minutes thinking if I should go
in...
I finally opened my door, sucked a fresh breath of air in
and put my foot on the ground.
I walked past the group of men who friendly greeted me. I
went in the Mosque.
I had no idea what to do... Some people were washing their
arms and feet. I just went to sit down at the back and looked around.
It felt weirdly holy and sacred. I expected it to be hostile
and 'dangerous', but it felt very much like a place of peace. I liked it. It
felt right...
After I sat there for 5 min a man walked up to me and asked
me to leave. I was wearing shorts and that was not allowed in the Mosque.
So I left.
I was glad I could go. I felt good sitting back in the
safety of my car.
I will go back with long trousers. I want to worship my God
with my Muslim fellow humans. This is part of my journey. Facing the fears that
are making me into a follower of a corrupt arrogant world system. I need to see
the faces of the people behind the things I fear.
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